I'm willing to die just to see SHINee perform in front of me.
What an opening sentence, right? I don't know. I just have to say that. I don't know. I just too obsessed with them. I know I sound like a crazy fangirl right now. But I think I am. For once, I accept that I am crazy and I am fangirl.
I am willing to do anything. Heck anything?!!! Please... ABS-CBN, please sponsor 'SHINee World concert live in Manila'. Please. Please. And I swear SHAWOLS all over philippines will return the favor, by being there. Revenues... *coughs*
As If ABS-CBN could read this. TT^TT But I wish they would. Damn! I'd be forever thankful if that happens. Buti pa and mga Filipino Elf's they could see their Idols in a concert. I am seriously envious. How I wish.. How I wish, they could perform here too.
Okay, Maybe not now. TT^TT but time will come. that these guys will be under the spotlight, Will be under the Philippines' spotlight. and when that time comes. I'll make sure not to miss it.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Closing a Book
Have you ever experienced finishing a book? As an avid reader, I can vividly re-live that feeling, that feeling of ending you fantasy. It is as if your life ends on that world. Oh! The feeling of Alice going back to reality after visiting wonderland; yes that’s it! For now, you shall consider me as Alice. Shall I call you Mad Hatter, or perhaps Absolem, the absolute? Yes, yes! You shall be Mad Hatter!
You see, in closing a book, whatever the genre is, the dominant feeling is Melancholia, the feeling of you bidding farewell to the world you chose to live in for a few minutes, hours, or even days.
After Melancholia, Nostalgia comes next, the feeling of reminiscing, the feeling of re-living every part of the story, and then milliseconds before you put down the book, Euphoria.
Why am I telling you this? Because I am apparently, closing a book right now. I am afraid to close this book. I am afraid of closing this book. I am afraid of leaving this wonderland I have been in. I am really, really scared, right now. I might have said farewell for quite a few times already, but I think this time, it might be true.
For the first time in a long time, I am relaying my frustrations to you. I just screwed up. I screwed my life and now, I, Alice, shall be leaving wonderland. I don’t know if someday, I might see you guys, again. Shall I ever see Mrs. Mctwisp again? How about Tweedle and Tweedlum? Oh! And Absolem, or Mad Hatter, Shall I see you guys again? Probably not
‘Cause a book has only one ending and Alice just woke up from her dream…
But Alice shall remember…
And the book has been printed on to last a lifetime…
It may lose some pages, but it is printed on forever…
And if ever I shall close this book anytime soon, no regrets. I know a new book will be published again, A sequel maybe. The characters might change but it is a new exciting book nonetheless.
But I will surely miss this particular book
and the characters within it…
I will surely miss you…
You see, in closing a book, whatever the genre is, the dominant feeling is Melancholia, the feeling of you bidding farewell to the world you chose to live in for a few minutes, hours, or even days.
After Melancholia, Nostalgia comes next, the feeling of reminiscing, the feeling of re-living every part of the story, and then milliseconds before you put down the book, Euphoria.
Why am I telling you this? Because I am apparently, closing a book right now. I am afraid to close this book. I am afraid of closing this book. I am afraid of leaving this wonderland I have been in. I am really, really scared, right now. I might have said farewell for quite a few times already, but I think this time, it might be true.
For the first time in a long time, I am relaying my frustrations to you. I just screwed up. I screwed my life and now, I, Alice, shall be leaving wonderland. I don’t know if someday, I might see you guys, again. Shall I ever see Mrs. Mctwisp again? How about Tweedle and Tweedlum? Oh! And Absolem, or Mad Hatter, Shall I see you guys again? Probably not
‘Cause a book has only one ending and Alice just woke up from her dream…
But Alice shall remember…
And the book has been printed on to last a lifetime…
It may lose some pages, but it is printed on forever…
And if ever I shall close this book anytime soon, no regrets. I know a new book will be published again, A sequel maybe. The characters might change but it is a new exciting book nonetheless.
But I will surely miss this particular book
and the characters within it…
I will surely miss you…
Friday, March 4, 2011
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Unread Letters to self 1
Well, this is all about me. This is the most truthful attempt to sort reality from fantasy. This is the closest I can have to a diary. I am afraid that nobody will read you. On the other hand, I am quite thankful also. It would really freak me up if somebody reads what's in my mind. LOL.
To tell you the truth, I am a narcissist. It is as it always was the story of my life. I KNOW that there is interconnectivity in our life. But I guess that is the failure of any human being to recognize their self-worth in context of a greater plan, a plan way better than theirs. Maybe that's what destiny is, or in Paulo Coelho's words, "the soul of the world". I don't really know, or understand. I don't really get what our worth as a human being is. Do you believe in God? Destiny is always tied up with that question. Most believers associate faith with fate. And those who do not believe in destiny discard that there is the Divine.
This question has been brought up by Fr. Kedu in one of his religion classes. "What is freedom?"
I wonder what really freedom is. How can you decide about your fate if there is a pre-destined destiny that awaits you? (I hope that made sense)
What my supposition was at that time was that there is freedom. There is always a choice and it's up to you to decide, but the Author already knows your answer to that choice. After all, It was He who made you, the circumstances about you, the conflict that hinders you. Imagine that you are a character in one of His tales, He knows you more than you know yourself. He made you, He made your story and He know how and when to end it.
But that character is faced with questions, with circumstances and it was the character who chose, who picked. But the author knew how the character should react or answer. It was the Author who speaks in the words of his characters. It was the Author that moves with those characters. It was His story, it is your story. It is about you and no, it wasn't all about you.
You see, in a tale made by a human creator, A story is at most 2D- 2 dimensional. It can only be told a one point of view at one time, a minor character do this and do that for the sake of the main story which is about the main characters only. Because that's how we view things. We can be really narcissists. The story is all about me. And every other elements functions for the main story, for the main character's story. And that is the failure of a human being.
But it is different with God's tale called LIFE. No one is the main character, or rather; we are all the main characters. Each one is an element that works for another because life is a chain or a domino. We were created for the story of each other. We support each other- sometimes in an antagonistic way- but we make up each other's story nonetheless. That's why we are alive, because we still have a role to play for one another. I hope I am doing my role.
That's all for today. Thank you for the wisdom.
Love Lots,
MC
To tell you the truth, I am a narcissist. It is as it always was the story of my life. I KNOW that there is interconnectivity in our life. But I guess that is the failure of any human being to recognize their self-worth in context of a greater plan, a plan way better than theirs. Maybe that's what destiny is, or in Paulo Coelho's words, "the soul of the world". I don't really know, or understand. I don't really get what our worth as a human being is. Do you believe in God? Destiny is always tied up with that question. Most believers associate faith with fate. And those who do not believe in destiny discard that there is the Divine.
This question has been brought up by Fr. Kedu in one of his religion classes. "What is freedom?"
I wonder what really freedom is. How can you decide about your fate if there is a pre-destined destiny that awaits you? (I hope that made sense)
What my supposition was at that time was that there is freedom. There is always a choice and it's up to you to decide, but the Author already knows your answer to that choice. After all, It was He who made you, the circumstances about you, the conflict that hinders you. Imagine that you are a character in one of His tales, He knows you more than you know yourself. He made you, He made your story and He know how and when to end it.
But that character is faced with questions, with circumstances and it was the character who chose, who picked. But the author knew how the character should react or answer. It was the Author who speaks in the words of his characters. It was the Author that moves with those characters. It was His story, it is your story. It is about you and no, it wasn't all about you.
You see, in a tale made by a human creator, A story is at most 2D- 2 dimensional. It can only be told a one point of view at one time, a minor character do this and do that for the sake of the main story which is about the main characters only. Because that's how we view things. We can be really narcissists. The story is all about me. And every other elements functions for the main story, for the main character's story. And that is the failure of a human being.
But it is different with God's tale called LIFE. No one is the main character, or rather; we are all the main characters. Each one is an element that works for another because life is a chain or a domino. We were created for the story of each other. We support each other- sometimes in an antagonistic way- but we make up each other's story nonetheless. That's why we are alive, because we still have a role to play for one another. I hope I am doing my role.
That's all for today. Thank you for the wisdom.
Love Lots,
MC
Monday, November 29, 2010
A Fairy Tale
There was once an Alchemist who was famous for turning lead into gold.
A curious girl decided one day that she should see the alchemist and learn from him.
He joined a group of disciples who are learning from the alchemist.
All of which came from different parts of the country and thus there is no language that can unite them, and they cannot talk with each other.
There is a language they all understood, the one spoken by the Alchemist,But no matter how they try nobody can communicate using that language.
Everyday, she went to the house of the Alchemist to learn.
Within the lecture, She did not speak to anyone, except with the Alchemist.
The Alchemist was young, much younger that you can imagine, for he is just 7 years older than she.
And he has an infectious smile that always greeted her; He cheered and encourage her when she can't do anything that he taught her.
He would exchange witty jokes with her, and before she knew it.
She was deep in love with her Master.
But he didn't know. She couldn't let him know; She kept it all for herself.
And she was jealous when he is with any other woman. but she kept it all inside.
and before anybody notice, She has turned lead into gold.
And he felt she no longer needed him.
and he asked her not to attend his lessons anymore.
and she agreed so she wouldn't envy anyone again for she knows,
it was sinful to hate anyone that has done nothing wrong to her.
She wanted to hug him for the first and last time.
but her heart beated so fast and she turned away without any ado.
But she misses him.... even now...
but that was the end of the story.
***********************************************
A typical fairy tale ends in a happy ending. Do you want to know why? Because we want to believe in them, in happy endings.
So that the hope that is instilled into us grows, before real-life experiences destroy it.
So it will grow roots to hold itself against the storm.
but I give up.
Even though I still miss him...
Thursday, November 25, 2010
REACTION?
I swear, I am not an activist, I am not one of the so-called leftists, that barks at every move of the government.
I did not join any rally prior to this one.
But it really saddens me (infuriates me, rather) to see how people react badly at this issue. Why?
Have you ever tried walking down the halls of PGH?
Have you ever seen a patient,whose internal organ is exposed, waiting patiently in line, hoping to be admitted, at least before he passed out?
(PGH shares its budget with UP-Manila)
And yes. We walked out of class, we walked out of the comforts of our classroom. (if there is anything comfortable there).
Shouting, even if no one is listening; fighting even if there is no honor to be chased. We fight for our existence.
Who would want to go out in the sun, walking tirelessly, when we could just go home and sink to our books?
Who would want to shout when everything we say will be faced with a deafening silence?
Who would want to fight, when there's no reward to face after the war; when there's nothing but criticism at the end of the day?
But we did walk, we did shout, we did fight,
bearing in mind the days, when we are in our chemistry laboratories, recycling some used litmus paper;
in our biology classes, when we have to use some washed Wilkins bottles as an improvised spirometers;
in our history classes, a class of 40 students squeezes themselves inside a classroom that is smaller than your average CR.
in our libraries, where the newest book editions were the ones published 10 years ago.
Yes, we refuse to be silenced, but that is what school has been teaching us ever since- to fight for what we think is right.
Yes, we may have thrown away the times that should have been used to study/work. But we compensate for it. We are studying double the time, so we may prove our worth as your beneficiaries.
(In fact, I've stayed up the whole night trying to finish the reading assignments to compensate for the class hours that we've lost.) We study, we try to work it out, we've tried to improvise, Ipinagsisiksikan hangga't kaya. We babble, but we are working it out also.
By this, are we making ourselves some ingrateful bastards, who knows nothing 'bout to complain and shout on the streets?
Yes, we are privileged. UP has been the "University of the Privileged", but since when?
Budget cuts translates into TOFIs (Tuition and Other Fees Increase), and TOFIs translates into student population of those "privileged enough to pay".
We are destroying the country?! think.
If the studentry of the SUC's will be composed only of those who can pay, do you think the poor people, like me, will have any chance to chase for our dreams?
Did you think this country has any chance to alleviate its present condition?
We know nothing but to babble. maybe.
If you really think it's wrong to ask for more budget allocation for education, where would you rather place the budget from your taxes?
Look, please, look, at where the budget is going; where your money is going.
Yes, the army needs more guns and bullets than we need our books and classrooms.
It makes me sad. It really does.
I did not join any rally prior to this one.
But it really saddens me (infuriates me, rather) to see how people react badly at this issue. Why?
Have you ever tried walking down the halls of PGH?
Have you ever seen a patient,whose internal organ is exposed, waiting patiently in line, hoping to be admitted, at least before he passed out?
(PGH shares its budget with UP-Manila)
And yes. We walked out of class, we walked out of the comforts of our classroom. (if there is anything comfortable there).
Shouting, even if no one is listening; fighting even if there is no honor to be chased. We fight for our existence.
Who would want to go out in the sun, walking tirelessly, when we could just go home and sink to our books?
Who would want to shout when everything we say will be faced with a deafening silence?
Who would want to fight, when there's no reward to face after the war; when there's nothing but criticism at the end of the day?
But we did walk, we did shout, we did fight,
bearing in mind the days, when we are in our chemistry laboratories, recycling some used litmus paper;
in our biology classes, when we have to use some washed Wilkins bottles as an improvised spirometers;
in our history classes, a class of 40 students squeezes themselves inside a classroom that is smaller than your average CR.
in our libraries, where the newest book editions were the ones published 10 years ago.
Yes, we refuse to be silenced, but that is what school has been teaching us ever since- to fight for what we think is right.
Yes, we may have thrown away the times that should have been used to study/work. But we compensate for it. We are studying double the time, so we may prove our worth as your beneficiaries.
(In fact, I've stayed up the whole night trying to finish the reading assignments to compensate for the class hours that we've lost.) We study, we try to work it out, we've tried to improvise, Ipinagsisiksikan hangga't kaya. We babble, but we are working it out also.
By this, are we making ourselves some ingrateful bastards, who knows nothing 'bout to complain and shout on the streets?
Yes, we are privileged. UP has been the "University of the Privileged", but since when?
Budget cuts translates into TOFIs (Tuition and Other Fees Increase), and TOFIs translates into student population of those "privileged enough to pay".
We are destroying the country?! think.
If the studentry of the SUC's will be composed only of those who can pay, do you think the poor people, like me, will have any chance to chase for our dreams?
Did you think this country has any chance to alleviate its present condition?
We know nothing but to babble. maybe.
If you really think it's wrong to ask for more budget allocation for education, where would you rather place the budget from your taxes?
Look, please, look, at where the budget is going; where your money is going.
Yes, the army needs more guns and bullets than we need our books and classrooms.
It makes me sad. It really does.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Falling Stars
“When you forget me
When you don’t remember my name
Not even a memory
Somewhere in the back of your brain
I won’t be offended
‘Cause I always knew that the day
Would come when I’m not enough to make you stay”
-Falling Stars
(David Archuleta)
I recently bought David Archuleta’s album, The Other Side of Down. I personally thought his songs now, compared to his debut album- David Archuleta, are more personal. I close my eyes and I could feel him talking to me. I don’t know about you, but his songs make me feel like I’ve known him fully. Maybe it’s the use of “you”; it’s like conversing with him.
Have you tried listening to “Falling Stars” or “My Kind of Perfect” or “Something ‘bout Love”? That’s to proving my point.
In conversing with you, he makes you ponder on the lyrics, thus, inspiring you. I mean, it inspires me, I don’t know about you (again).
I miss David Archuleta. Not that I’ve known him personally, but I miss being his fan, I miss visiting his fan sites more often than I visit my Facebook. I miss playing “Barriers” and “Desperate” when I’m hopeless; “You Can” and “Angels” when I daydream. I miss staring at his face on the album cover when I’m not doing anything. I miss waiting patiently for his new video blog every other day.
I miss being a fan.
David, I’m glad you came here to remind me of how enticed I am when you sing. I know you don’t know me. I practically drowned in the sea of your fans when you sang at sky dome, but that doesn’t change anything, I am a fan again. After two years, it’s your album that’s playing on repeat.
I sing because of you.
If ask what must be my absolute favorites song on the album, I’d say it’s “My Kind of Perfect”. It’s so dreamy and sincere. When you listen to it, you’ll feel like it’s just you, David and his piano. And if you’re a dreaming Cinderella, you might just imagine yourself being his “kind of perfect”.
“Falling stars” makes you feel David is saying goodbye. It made me cry. It really did! It made me feel guilty that I’ve been ashamed of being his fan. I hate those two years in college, where I always deny that I’m still a fan. I’m back.
And I didn’t forget you. I just pretended that I did.
I remember your name, your smile, and your songs.
Every memory is treasured and intact.
Your songs are enough to make me stay.
Yes, we will stay.
You’ll always be my star; you’ll never fall out again.
When you don’t remember my name
Not even a memory
Somewhere in the back of your brain
I won’t be offended
‘Cause I always knew that the day
Would come when I’m not enough to make you stay”
-Falling Stars
(David Archuleta)
I recently bought David Archuleta’s album, The Other Side of Down. I personally thought his songs now, compared to his debut album- David Archuleta, are more personal. I close my eyes and I could feel him talking to me. I don’t know about you, but his songs make me feel like I’ve known him fully. Maybe it’s the use of “you”; it’s like conversing with him.
Have you tried listening to “Falling Stars” or “My Kind of Perfect” or “Something ‘bout Love”? That’s to proving my point.
In conversing with you, he makes you ponder on the lyrics, thus, inspiring you. I mean, it inspires me, I don’t know about you (again).
I miss David Archuleta. Not that I’ve known him personally, but I miss being his fan, I miss visiting his fan sites more often than I visit my Facebook. I miss playing “Barriers” and “Desperate” when I’m hopeless; “You Can” and “Angels” when I daydream. I miss staring at his face on the album cover when I’m not doing anything. I miss waiting patiently for his new video blog every other day.
I miss being a fan.
David, I’m glad you came here to remind me of how enticed I am when you sing. I know you don’t know me. I practically drowned in the sea of your fans when you sang at sky dome, but that doesn’t change anything, I am a fan again. After two years, it’s your album that’s playing on repeat.
I sing because of you.
If ask what must be my absolute favorites song on the album, I’d say it’s “My Kind of Perfect”. It’s so dreamy and sincere. When you listen to it, you’ll feel like it’s just you, David and his piano. And if you’re a dreaming Cinderella, you might just imagine yourself being his “kind of perfect”.
“Falling stars” makes you feel David is saying goodbye. It made me cry. It really did! It made me feel guilty that I’ve been ashamed of being his fan. I hate those two years in college, where I always deny that I’m still a fan. I’m back.
And I didn’t forget you. I just pretended that I did.
I remember your name, your smile, and your songs.
Every memory is treasured and intact.
Your songs are enough to make me stay.
Yes, we will stay.
You’ll always be my star; you’ll never fall out again.
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