Saturday, October 16, 2010

This speech was delivered by a La Sallian engineer in one of the graduation ceremonies at the UP College of Engineering.


Ngayong araw na ito, sa ating pagtatapos, mayroon akong dalang Transcript of Record. Ang estudyanteng may-ari ng transcript na ito ay nag-aral sa De La Salle University. Sa unibersidad na ito, kapag ikaw ay isang undergraduate, may ID number ka na nagsisimula sa “94” at pataas, kung lumipas ang isang buong school year at umabot ka sa 15 units na bagsak, masisipa ka sa paaralan.



Ang transcript na hawak ko ay mayroong 27 units ng bagsak. 12 sa mga ito ay tinamo ng estudyante sa iisang schoolyear lang. Ang isang subject ay kadalasang may bigat na 3 units. Kung iisiping mabuti, isang subject na bagsak na lang ay pwede na masipa ang estudyanteng may-ari ng transcript na ito.


Ang speech na ito ay hindi ko ginawa para i-acknowledge ang paghihirap ng ating mga magulang sa pagpapaaral satin. Hindi ko din ito ginawa para maghayag ng political statement, o kumbinsihin kayo na huwag umalis sa bansa at tulungan itong makaahon. Ang speech na ito ay para sa mga normal na estudyante na kagaya ng may may-ari ng transcript na hawak ko, dahil madalas, wala talagang pakialam ang unibersidad sa mga achievements nila. May mga awards na gaya ng “Summa Cum Laude”, “Best Thesis Award” at “Leadership Award.” Pero ni minsan, hindi pa ako nakakakita ng unibersidad na nagbigay ng “Hang-on and managed to graduate despite nearly getting kicked-out during his academic stay” award.


Maaaring isang malaking kagaguhan ang konseptong ito para sa karamihan. Bakit mo pararangalan ang isang estudyanteng bulakbol, bobo, tamad o iresponsable? Hindi ba dapat isuka ito ng unibersidad? Ito yung mga tipo ng estudyanteng walang ia-asenso sa buhay, hindi ba?


Ayun. Natumbok niyo.Iyun na nga ang dahilan.


Madalas, pag ang isang estudyante ay may pangit na marka sa paaralan, lalong lalo na sa kolehiyo, nakakapanghina ito ng loob. Nandiyan yung tatamarin ka mag-aral, nandyan yung iisipin mo “Ano pa kayang trabaho ang makukuha ko? Call center na naman o clerical? Ba’t kasi ang bobo ko. Kung matalino lang ako, sana, sa Proctor and Gamble ako, o kung saang sikat na kumpanya.”


Mas mahirap ang dinadaanan ng mga estudyanteng bumabagsak. Kahit na sabihin mong kasalanan nilang bumabagsak sila, hindi ninyo alam kung ano ang pakiramdam ng ganun. Madaling sabihin na “Kaya mo yan, mag-aral ka lang,” pero alam ba natin talaga ang sinasabi natin?


Kapag ang isang estudyante ay bumabagsak sa unibersidad, nandiyan yung tatawanan niya lang yan. O di kaya naman, ipagmamalaki niya pang “TAKE 5 NA KO!!!” o “Pare, magpi-PhD na ako sa Anmath3/Calculus/etc.” Pero hindi alam ng mga isang Summa Cum Laude kung ano ang nasa isip ng isang normal na estudyante sa tuwing matutulog ito at alam niyang pag-gising niya, kailangan niya na namang ulitin ang isang subject na nakuha niya na sa susunod na term.


Kahit kalian, hindi naging problema sa “Star Student” na sabihing “Nay, bagsak ako.” at hindi kailanman sumagi sa isip nila na “Paano kaya kung sa walang-pangalang kumpanya lang ako makapagtrabaho?” Dahil sigurado sila sa kinabukasan nila.


Huwag na tayong maglokohan. Grades are everything. Kahit bali-baligtarin mo iyan, hindi magiging patas ang mga kumpanyang kumukuha ng fresh graduates para magtrabaho sa kanila. Minsan din naman, nadadaan sa palakasan, pero ganun pa din. Kung hindi ka academically good, wala kang patutunguhan. Kung hindi man yun, mas mahirap yung dadaanan mo para lang makaabot sa prestihiyosong posisyon.


Kaya ngayong graduation, ang speech na ito ay inaaalay ko para sa mga estudyanteng lumagpak, muntik-muntikan nang masipa o yung sa lahat ng paraang pwede, ginawa na para lang makatapos. Gagawin kong patas ang mundo para sa inyo kahit isang araw lang. Kahit ano pa ang sabihin ng ibang tao, kesyo kasalanan mo man na pangit ang marka mo o muntik ka nang makick-out, saludo ako sa hindi mo pagtigil sa pag-aaral. Saludo ako na may lakas ka ng loob na harapin pa rin ang mundo kahit alam mong hindi ito magiging patas sa iyo. Saludo ako na kahit pangit ang transcript mo, taas noo ka pa rin ngayong graduation at proud na proud sa sarili mo.


Ano ngayon ang mangyayari sa mga graduates pagkatapos nitong graduation? Ayoko nang puntahan yung pwedeng mangyayari sa mga Cum Laude. Baduy. Alam mo namang may patutunguhan ang buhay nila e. Pero dun sa mga lumagpak, ano ang meron?


Maaring makakuha kayo ng mediocre na trabaho lang. Pwede ka rin swertehin, baka makapagtrabaho ka sa magandang kumpanya. Madami pang pwedeng mangyari. Huwag kayong mawalan ng pag-asa. Kung nung college, nagtiyaga kayo e ba’t titigilan niyo yung pagti-tiyaga ngayon?


Pwede ring ganito: Mag-aral ka ulit. Ipakita mo sa kanila na kung sisipagin ka lang, malayo ang mararating mo. Subukan mong patunayan sa kanila na kapag pinilit mo, kaya mo ring abutin yung naabot nila. Na hindi ka bobo, kundi tinamad ka lang.


Baka sabihin ninyo, drowing lang ako.


I’ve been on both sides. Naranasan ko na ring lumagpak, at muntikan na din akong masipa. Naranasan ko na ang umulit ng 4 na beses sa iisang subject. Naranasan ko na ang masumbatan ng magulang, kapatid at kung sino-sino pang propesor na walang pakialam sa pakiramdam ng estuyante. Naranasan ko nang hindi makatulog ng maraming gabi sa pagiisip kung paano ko na naman sasabihin sa magulang ko na may bagsak na naman ako. Kaya alam ko ang pakiramdam ninyo.


Akin ang transcript na ito.


Pagkagraduate ko ng college, ano ang ginawa ko? Eto. Nagtrabaho muna ng konti, tapos aral ulit. Kuha ng Masteral sa kurso ko. Hindi para sa trabaho o kung ano man. Kundi para patunayan sa sarili ko na noong mga panahong bumabagsak ako, tinatamad lang ako.


This is a rebellion. I raise my middle finger to every professor, over-achiever, naysayer and detractor THAT TOLD ME THAT I CAN'T MAKE IT. I raise my middle finger to every valedictory or graduation speech that only gratifies the university, those who were achievers in school or those who gratify the country when it’s supposed to be the graduate’s moment of glory. You are supposed to acknowledge EVERYONE. Even those who failed many times.


Kaya sa inyong mga graduates na medyo hindi maganda ang marka, para sa inyo ito. Kung kinaya ko ito, kaya niyo rin to. Imposibleng hindi.



(DISCLAIMER! THIS IS NOT MY SPEECH BUT I HAVE TO REBLOG IT BECAUSE IT WAS QUITE COOL)

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Random, unedited thoughts.

Haix, let me breath and just talk and talk about whats on my mind. I just hope that what I'll be saying will make sense, because at this point in time, nothing makes sense for me...

1. I want to empty my mind.

Sometimes, I wish I were crazy, or sick with a disease that will not let me think. How I wish I do not worry about any thing at all. I do not want to remember, but I do not want to forget either. (I told you, this won't make any sense). I want not to worry about anything, because, I'm tired. I'M FREAKIN' WEARY!! Can I just die? I wan't this to end now, I'm afraid to see my life, going down the drain.

2. Yeah... Love.

Sheeez, I hate talking about this, because I'm afraid,. Yeah! I'm afraid of love... No, I mean, I'm afraid of rejection... I've always wanted to hug you; to comfort you when you are tired; to cry with you when you need to cry. I've always wanted to tell you that you are the one who keeps pushing (and pulling) me when I'm tired, so that I can continue to move. but I can't.. I can't. So, yeah, love, yeah!

3. Friends?

Friendships requires emotional investments. When I make friends, I make real friends. I am so disappointed with what college turns out to be. You're friends now, tomorrow, you're not.. I want real friends. So thank you, JOY, MARK, and MARVIN.. Please, continue to be what you are...

I wonder if anybody reads this at all,..

Ne~!

Monday, October 11, 2010

College friendships

College days seems to pass so fast.
(sigh)
and so are the people in college.

I don't know but, lately, I've been acquiring and losing new friends. I guess that is college. I guess it is not a venue for creating lifelong friendships. I don't know. I really don't.


People seems to be close to you. You gets too emotionally attached. Semester ends, you feel alone, dispatched. You wonder if something is wrong with yourself and decided to blame yourself for it, then change for the better. Then, another semester comes, same thing happens. You wake up and say, "Hey, It's not my fault anymore!!"

I don't know. I really don't.

Dear friends, the semester's is drawing to close. Are we going to say goodbye and fade away, drift away from each other?

I hope not.


******************************************************





Saturday, October 9, 2010

Drama na naman... XD

hunger*

My soul wanders from its shell
from its windows, it search it tells
a story unheard from the shadows
it lurks, it stalks, it follows...

You. The scene outside is ever changing
as the season is, summer, winter, autumn and spring
You're here, you walk away, you pass, you stay
the season's a cycle, you? it hurts, but nay!

I wonder how it feels to hold you near,
when the horizon, your dreams are here
when your dreams come true before your eyes
to feel your warmth that thaws the ice.

But only my eyes can hold your hand,
only my gaze can touch your face, land
of dreams that grows into despair
what is made, is destroyed. Life is unfair!

In my sleep, I shall see you again
In the reality, what is for me? pain
pain when I feign, aches of emptiness
ponders for the absent, longs for fulfillness

*****************************************************
I made this one (unintentionally) at Luneta park...

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Buhay ng Bio student

Ang buhay ng bio student? hmmm...

Siguro, para sa akin lang,

mahirap,..

katulad ko bumagsak na, hindi talaga madali.

parang feeling mo lagi kang inii-stretch sa limit mo. hanggang feeling mo, isa kang rubber band na dating elastic, naging plastic na kahihila. parang pagkatapos mong ma outrun yung sarili mo, kailangan mong tumayo ulit at i-outrun ulit yung record mo. goodness! nakakapagod.

Minsan nga, napapaisip ako kung sapat na ba na compensation na nalalaman ko, how things work around me. Why do flowers bloom, or how does a fish breathe?
sapat na ba na kabayaran sa ilang araw ng pagpupuyat yung malaman mo ang difference ng embolism, thrombism, at atherosclerosis?

hindi siguro.... pero para sakin, sapat na YATA yung intrinsic worth na naiibigay nung mga kaalaman na yun.


Masaya.

Masaya, pag nakikita mo na nagtitilian sila sa paghawak ng palaka;

pag nagjojoke kayong magkakaklase tungkol sa bio, at feeling ninyo kayo lang ang nakakaintindi nung joke ninyo;

Masaya,

pag malungkot ka tapos icocomfort ka ng mga Blockmates mong mag malala pa ang problema kaysa sayo;

pag umulan, tapos naririnig mong tumutunog ang vocal sacs ng mga male frogs na naghahanap ng mate;

pagdumaan ka sa tindahaan ng mangga at sinabi mong pakitanggal nga po ng pericarp;

pag nanood ka ng concert at sinabi mong, "nasa pith nga si Lady gaga at ako ay nasa may cork cambium na."

marami pa akong pwedeng ilagay kaso, over naman na sa haba.

What I want to say is...

Masaya, Masaya talaga.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Random unedited thoughts

Hmmm... okay. This is not so much of the best day in my life.

I woke up, (Same old boring me =]) feeling dizzy, and sick. So, I decided against going to class, because, it's laboratory and I would not be so much of a help to my Lab partner.

I promised to make a better student out of me, yet I failed again. hmmmp.

I know it is not suppose to be my fault, but I guess, in college, we are expected to go, even if it rains or snow. It is not as strict as how it was in High School, but we know it all the same.
*stands up, looks up the sky and laughs out loud*

Atashii Gambaru~!!!

Enough of the bitterness and allow me to post some happy things that happened to me this past few days. and some insights if it's okay.

~ I thought Mr. Hallare will give me a Zero for my Bio Lec exam, because of my pure stupidity. I actually brought the exam questionnaire with me and it's a fair ground for giving me a 0 or a failing mark.

but He Didn't. so I would like to thank, Mr. AV Hallare, for the chance.
and also, God. Lord, I am so much thankful. You never fail to answer my prayers. I love you.

It is really easy to appreciate things when it happens when you least expect it to. I really thought it was the end of me so I was so much happy when I really did get by.... YAY!

A poem Again*

Eto ay tula na naman..
*******************************************
Try

Words are lost, or the words lost you?
It ne'er leaves the pen, writers do
The feeling lingers, and your fingers
knew you missed it too
Yet, where are you?

Has the curse been lifted? Is it gone?
Sheets of paper, Words, it has none
The ugly traffic made terrific
by the poems you've done
Yet, Where did you run?

You know the path, you know the place
The world, the game, how it amazes
Where distort is comfort
and lines are solace
Yet, Where are those days?

Shall I blame the pen, Shall I? Shall I?
Shall you kiss the world of words goodbye?
I hope not, I hope that
Someday, again, you'll soar, you'll fly
So, Again, I'll ask, Where? Why?